RECREATIONAL EPISIOTOMY FUCKBALL THROUGH THE WANG TIME TUNNEL Do you hear what I hear? CURMBOX Fadoul Rothery has a bat in the pants. Cruel and incomprehensible. You’ve got nothing better to do. That unobtainable Sparticus My multimedia abacus has taken over the conversation. GELIGNIS Love at first sight through the face shield of an EOD suit. SOMEBODY GOT UP ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE CRAWLSPACE Time for the amalgamated Freudian catalyst to get things done around here. Time enough for him to roll up his sleeves and cut some fucking arms off. This drove me to ruin my life, this drove me not.   DENKE’S PICKLES Ax and brine, casks of casket wine NUTS TO THE SKY Fuck you assholes; I’m taking back what is rightfully mine. Fuck you assholes; I’m taking back what is rightfully mine. You buy and sell evolutionary instinct.  You hang up the rope barriers. Fuck you assholes; I’m taking back what is rightfully mine. TARTE SPERME Foul and sour Affixed with mildew vichyssoise The smell of a thrift store afghan The consolation withers It’s the soundtrack to your debasement on a wet floor. As the rats in the laboratory As the rats convulse   SHAANXI DEATH CAVE Hesitant with a post-hole digger. Oil and force makes the hole get bigger. The gray shithole of another kind of knockout. The clay is cold when you pull your fuckin’ cock out. POURING POISON DOWN MY THROAT Your flagon has never seen a grape. I’ll be right back - There’s something I have to justify. I’m almost there. FIX-IT TICKET Wipe that smile off the face of the Earth You’re insured a dangerous anxiety for as long as the lead holds Your guardian angels scream their way out of your burning, shitty asshole. THE BULGE [a.k.a. ORANGEVALE HOT JUICE, a.k.a. THE BIG HUGE] Read the word, not the color. Hand to mouth. Hand to mouth. Hand to mouth. You’re not bright enough to make yourself happy. I BLEW MY LOAD ON THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD Load, prick; yellow, the swallow. PACKING TAPE FOR MCCAFFERY’S MOUTH In my benevolent fantasy, I will name you Octave. Just shut up and play. THERE BE DANGERS HERE A nude doctor stands with his penis attached to the inner workings of a windmill. THE GASOLINE STOMP Impaled through the brain on a shrink-wrapped jewel case. I’ve bought the farm and now I’m demanding a refund. Give it up for Queen Bitch Gasoline. IN DEFENSE OF MISOGYNY I see no women I only see people If women are If people are If women are If people are I see no people, I only see pieces of fucking shit. LOU REED JACKS OFF ON YOUR FACE WHILE YOU SLEEP You’re believing your own press right now and you’re looking for love. A menacing swagger that simply burns into her stinging eyes the essence du velvets. OLD GROWTH CONNECTICUT VALLEY THORN BUSHES My alternate realities are bound to be a little more alternate. Bound to be a little more frayed. Bound to be a little more twisted. MUCHACHO DEL VIENTRE All of the dormant diseases you gave me all at once In you they never seemed to come alive And while you were sleeping the spiders that crawled into your cunt In you they never started to writhe GOSPEL CURLICUES Sweaty, neon drug skeleton. NEVERFUCKINGMIND PREGNANT WITH CAFFEINE The fibrous wombs shit out millions of diurnal crybabies ROTCUNT Spermbanksadness spends eternity with a Bob Dylan fan Having her mouth packed with kitten shit. POLLEN Biting the stamen, the skin turning sweet Yellowing, softening dust-covered meat Rotting alive, cracking at the seams A sweet mound of decomposing pollen. TRAPPER’S TAPES Curious priorities When the past is always and without fail perfumed with strawberry incense. Beautiful promises contrasted with genetically encoded filth, Ornamented with prison illiteracy. U-HAUL I'm only here to keep you up all night. The slow lead the speedy. Inhaling two truckfuls of cardboard dust just to get a mirror-image peek at that pissy bush. PINK GIN AND CRANK SCABS (AIRPLANE BLONDE #1) My thoughts somehow turn to your face When I’ve got that biting cold steel in my back. THERE’S A TREAT IN THE DEPRESSURIZATION CHAMBER Eulogized and clean-shaven, the good cop looks for a way out. SHOPPING CART FULL OF URINE-SOAKED CASH It’s only luck that allowed you to cheekily slip through the cracks. We all discovered that sweet taste In the midst of holding our tongues to the sky during the blizzard of shit. THE RAIN DANCE RATIONALE We must abandon all restriction of ambition. You must learn to recognize, endure, and exploit all the symptoms of the single-mindedly relentless torrent of disenchantment that surrounds you. Yourself is the greatest enemy I have ever known. Myself is the greatest hero you have ever known. Myself is the greatest enemy you have ever known. Yourself is the greatest hero I have ever known.  We know nothing. THE SQUALL I told you once that you're all Harper Valley Piles of Shit. If there was a time for utter failure, this is it. Concomitant to the squall, we could always have it all. Symptoms. I called the fire department but I never said a word. Everyone was leaving town the day you were interred. Nobody has heard from the chorus of the cured. Common sense and vision were suppressed, deformed, and blurred. Name another instance where these sorts of things occurred. Horny bullies never lose. SPLIT W/ THE CLAUS BROS. LOOKING FOR SWAN AT 17th AND MISSION Billy Boy - what happened to the sculptures and puppets? ROOFIES AND A MOUSTACHE Tender moments with a tender skull A state-of-the-art cellphone on bloody tile. Straining through the professional sarcasm to get a whiff of that oxygen. THE BOWLING PIN You should see bowling pin Pam You should see bowling pin Pam Fuck herself in the ass with a loaded shotgun I will only be truly satisfied when I can go to the cemetery, Lay down in the shade, carve a hole in the dirt, and FUCK HER GRAVE. MAD HUFFABLES Hollow echoes In the shower for an hour Violently crumpling into numbness. When you’ve painted yourself into a corner, There’s nothing left to do but huff your way out. I can’t feel my hands. I can’t feel my hands. I can’t feel my hands.   COKESIM Who do I have to fuck to get some death around here? Who do I have to kill to get some sex? And will the one that I kill make someone else king? Oh, what a terrible thing to have to stand up and sing the every praise of sitting down. And Jesus wept in a mathematical bath; flowing, flowing... [underground] What goes up must come down; what gets hot solidifies and cools. Mathematically eliminated fools. A different set of rules and a brand new box of tools. Mathematically eliminated fools. MOHAWK MAKES THE ROOM The affluent air conditioning of the great outdoors The colors of autumn and the high-pitched frequencies of Pavlov’s lowball glass. They’re taking bets on which side of the teepee the shit will roll down. ASPARTAME Empty stomach, empty stomach in a can. Dented, dusty, hot, and free. I'm licking my wounds on an anthill. BROAD STROKES Calendars and wall clocks available in a wide assortment of styles and colors. Icandigithecandigitshecandigitwecandigittheycandigityoucandigit. Nostrils are colorless on the inside. By which I mean by which I mean by which I mean you have very idiosyncratic acquaintances. PSYCHOSOMATICIAN There’s a mood ring hidden somewhere in the piñata of my beer belly. I’M SICK OF MY DICK I'm sick of my dick

SPLIT W/ THEOPHAGUS RIOTGOYIM Inappropriate sentimentality. WHEN HORNS BREAK OFF Knowing where you live, it used to be so wide The land is covered up for life inside Listen to the ground, the snow is cold and soft In the month where the moon is the one when Horns break off. BEING A CHRISTIAN MAKES YOU UNATTRACTIVE The meat market at the top of the hill has giant tri-tip cyanide steaks. Fucking the howling Jesus Christ in the ass with a bigger cross. THE ACOUSTICS OF THE 1977 GMC CARGO VAN INTERIOR Sunny, ride, elbows, icepick, lamp, Polaroid. BUKKAKE WHEELCHAIR I am my own birthday cake. THE REF Jesus was signaling “unsportsmanlike conduct”. ANNE RICE ON A SURFBOARD Mama put the cup of blood on the windowsill to cool Soap scum pumps through your heart You come alive again and again on a cellular ocean - It’s a capital notion. Evil gives chase and you get dick again and again. DUSTIN THE LIBRARIAN Broken glass and shredded hands, chunks of asphalt in the sand Window cleaner in my cuts, woman’s footprint on my nuts Static cling and electric shocks, shattered toes and bloody socks Sock is soaked of blood I spilt, fingerprints of bloody guilt FINGERLESS GLOVE Filter-tipped bad skin brood. Tiny dots of blood in the cleaver locker. Batteries are not in the ghetto blaster. A side collision in a Fairmont. Dance in a barrel and pine on the grass. I would walk ten miles of drainage ditch for that bitch. I’ve got a rhyme for your wet, shiny shape. And then, ten years after, my stony escape. I’m draggin’ my trenchcoat across the landscape. DEATH SENTENCE ON A POST-IT NOTE Being a realist means you ruin everything. But that says less about me than it does the state of reality. DEVIL'S CIGAR EP A STREETCAR NAMED FUCK YOU Me and you and a streetcar named Boo. Me and Boo and a dog named fuck you. CUBBY BROCCOLI Fifty is the new forty. Elementary is the new college. When words are like trees, the fruits have nothing to do with the produce. DILDO-SHAPED BIBLE Nights of the green fudge, stamp and shout. What the hell does god have to do with anything? What the hell? These handcuffs smell like pussy. Obviously, you and I have many differences-- not the least of which is our concept of erotic humiliation. The last person I'd expect to catch a break from is myself. But I've been into the brown liquors again, a socio-engineering double-blind bonus. Yippee!It's the party favorite, the big bad brainfucker! BIBLE-SHAPED DILDO Sea sister, through well-lit neighborhoods, easily monitored with radar. Try and explain how this has nothing to do with the crumpled heap of your temporary solution. Flush-faced, androgynous fuckmeat. DEVIL'S CIGAR WHEREAS, The State of Texas recognizes a variety of specimens symbolizing great diversity; WHEREAS, the armadillo, the bluebonnet, and the lightning whelk are just some examples of unparalleled beauty; WHEREAS, the designation of the Devil's Cigar as the Official State Fungus of Texas would provide this rare mycological inhabitant with fitting and suitable recognition; WHEREAS, known to scientists as Chorioactis geaster, features a long, tapering, dark-brown apothecium, which sometimes reaches a height of up to four inches; and WHEREAS, when ready, this distinctive fungus splits open with an audible hiss, filling the air with a cloud of spores that waft away to help maintain a future of life for the species; WHEREAS, it makes its home on decaying hardwood stumps and exposed roots in Central and North Texas; WHEREAS, it is as striking as the Lone Star State, making it a fitting symbol, therefore, BE IT RESOLVED, we hereby designate the Devil's Cigar Fungus as the Official State Fungus of Texas. HOMAGE WITH TONGUE Long-hair human puppy on the edge of the bed joins the four wise men As they pay homage to the hairless and wet. DRUNK DRIVING CLASS OF 1994 Tanned love-debris and the chrome tidalwave. Mister Mesh becomes misdirected and crashes. Just because you’re dead doesn’t mean you’re not an asshole. GAYBONES Who was it who once told me: “When you’re not cheating you’re not trying”? Worlds of waste for sale. Dubious credentials. Out of print and scarce. Time for the essentials. Endurance of the faceless. Buying your decorum. A fairly fickle mistress. Your possessive forum. Dubious credentials. Old and antiquated. Time for the essentials. Crawling, reinstated. Overt differentials. Makes you glad you waited. FRANKLIN DELANO BULLETBELT We'll take the liquor as read-- Living 100% rejection-free requires constant maintenence. 50,000 high-powered watts of pure, non-stop sad-clownism. (YOU DON’T WANNA) FLOAT AROUND FOR THE REST OF WHATEVER Savage Catholicism demands that you be hate-fucked, stat. GOD'S BLUE ASS WATER Dead, wet and gone. BONUS TRACKS MATING NETS AND DISCOVERED ATTACKS Fuck me only with thine eyes. A dancing tarantula on a butter dish. Semen stains on leather blinders. Unwashed raw vegetables and cough syrup. A pound of flesh in the hand is worth a thousand safewords. SWEET FACTORY The reflection of the hammer in the pig’s eyes. A prepubescent jackpot. The protein smell of a thousand fingers mixes with my own. In the store on a corner with a handful of little blue balls. OCAOLAASSIC Froggy went recording, invoking demon Conky Big Lick walker soring understudies for the donkey SIBERIAN RAVIOLI PROSTITUTE Keepin’ warm in a Kazakhstan loony bin With five-alarm chili and seven-hooker pelmeni. POWERWALKER CASSEROLE Strip all the meat from the groin to the ankle Just a couple hours from treadmill to table Preheat oven to three-hundred fifty 5 minutes per pound, she'll be done in a jiffy Cookin' a leg, cook-cookin' a leg The leg of a jogger, cook-cookin' a leg RAFTBUGGERY Robble robble SUICIDIO DALLA POLIZIA You keep the peace on a fuckin’ short leash. Die OR KILL ME. Die OR KILL ME. Kill me you fucking pig. Kill me you fucking pig. I will kill you, or I’ll die, and it will feel so good for you to… BLADES OF LAKE FISTLESS I'm gonna make Christmas in front of your house Dull blades, living blades Sharp sting of confidence Gassing up on Lake Fistless in front of your house Dirtcuffs, eyemuffs Power grip of self-defense THE BAG OF WATERS There’s nothing you can do. A relentless sine wave of reactionary prayer, Begging on your knees for the Bag of Waters. Happier than bacon in shit, twisting under the dildo of the Old Gods. They explain away deviant desires with mortally wounding insults. Foul cosmetics intensify the contortions of slow-motion silent panic. Asking only for the abolition of failure, and not the arrival of success. Translucent misfires through visors of the dripping pink pussy panoramic cunt hunters. Cracking your knuckles underwater. Fading to the squealing hinges of the cage, Holding back a coked-up mountain gorilla with a frayed extension cord up its ass. Since we’ve no place to go, fill up the battery fluid reservoir with brown snow. Creativity running wild in a shower of cold, acidic diarrhea. Clutching the secretive sorrow of the dictator, Leaving my gills behind. Birthed straight down into a fucking coffin in the middle of High Mass. Catholicism was the answer we were looking for. BETH SHENAYIM I cannot stress enough the need for vigilance When entering the toothed place ahead. A horrified old man in the corner, shitting his pants and clutching his bloody crotch while sucking a dildo held by his mother. This means nothing to the cunt with fangs. DROWNING THE HEIRESS Liquid Smoke and apricots, laying down in laetrile Transom breach at 40 knots through a hundred dollar bill Abhorrent thalassocrat flopping on a trampoline Silly silicone for tat - Silly travel putting green Ask me why I was just researching the southwest coast of France. It had something to do with an alternate, reverse time stream. Ask me why I was calculating the speed of sound in miles per hour. It had something to do with the Geopotential of Tropopause. Peephole must be made to specifics of the people. Attention must be paid to and refunded from such people. BUILT TO DESTROY IN THE NAME OF DISTRACTION Piss in the elevator, fall on your face. Beer bongs and barbecue at your mom’s place. Girls’ lost virginity, dignity, grace. Vacantly watching the passing of years. Trading tequila for forty ounce beers. Lottery tickets distorted through tears. Love/hate relations with liquor store clerks. High trapdoor spiders that bound on who lurks. Drink silhouettes mixed with whatever works. Telecast hoops on a TV that’s muted. Cold tanks at midnight for what you’re best suited. Slip through the cracks among others recruited. Built to destroy in the name of distraction. Double-bluff duty demands interaction. Chief of invisible, dissenting factions. Sleep in the forest your mind has provided. Mocked by the ones in which you once confided. Watching your innocent faith get blindsided. Another white mother with no sense of tact. A half-shirt reveals less of fiction than fact. Left behind sleepless and out of the pact. Sulfurous nest, genesis of the slaughter. Handyman corpse’s unfortunate daughter. Drinking my fill from uncomfortable waters.